Do I have to post about cancer?

Who knows if anyone is still reading this.  I'm perfectly fine these days, so who wants to read about that.  What I started as a way to easily get the word out about how I was doing during treatments became a way for me to express myself, calm myself down, and help me make it through a rough time.  After all of that was over and things have been going well, it seems like the only time I post is to give a health-related update.  I definitely have one of those to give today, but I'm wondering if that's all I have to give...  Should I really be limiting this blog for health/cancer-related issues?  It's called "here we go again".  It's about my second battle with cancer.  I regret not blogging more, but I just don't feel it appropriate at times.  Another reason for this blog was to be something that other cancer patients could find on a Google search to give them a first hand account of the disease.  I don't know how much I want to muddy the waters with other topics.  I think I will continue on this trend of only posting about my disease, but just beware, that means the updates should theoretically get fewer and farther between. 

Alright... so that being said, cancer sucks. A lot.  It doesn't matter what age or what type. Cancer sucks.  February 15th marked one year since the end of my radiation treatments.  It also marked day one of radiation treatments for my Grandma.  My Grandma is a 10+ year breast cancer survivor.  We shared a special bond.  We were both cancer survivors.  A few weeks ago my Grandma tried to outdo me.  She has been dealing with unexplained bleeding for over a year.  Every time she would have a flair up, she would be sent to a urologist who would look at her and say she was fine.  I know I had asked before how they knew it was a urologist and not a gyneocologist she needed to see, and the response was always something like "well, the blood is in her urine sample."  Uh-huh... and???? *sigh*  Well, a few weeks ago, she was bleeding so bad she had to be taken to the ER and which point the ER doc said "Well... she has a large tumor on her uterus.  It's probably cancer."  WTF???  How did no one think to look there for the past year?  Over the next week or so doctors kept trying to do biopsies to confirm the diagnosis, but my Grandma kept bleeding too much.  They decided to run a CT scan instead.  Not only was there a large tumor on her uterus, but also smaller ones on her ovaries and lungs.  At this point my Grandma had to make a choice.  She's 87 and probably wouldn't survive a surgery, not even to get a biopsy.  She ended up oping for low-level radiation for "presumed cancer".  This radiation treatment is not even curative, it's just supposed to stop the bleeding.  Logically, I get it.  She's 87.  She probably wouldn't survive surgery or chemo or high levels of radiation.  Even if she did, it would ruin her quality of life for the next few years.  The doctors just want to shrink it enough to stop the bleeding and the pain and give her the best possible outcome for the next few years.  But still.... she's my Grandma.  I'm upset they didn't find this earlier.  I'm upset that they can't do more for her.  I'm upset that there hasn't been enough advancements in cancer treatments to be able to cure her without killing her.

I'm thinking about you, Grandma.  I hope that this radiation treatment does give you quality of life for many years to come.  You have the strength to get through this.  I know, because I inherited it from you.

Snowpocalyspe in Tucson?

Well, up until this morning I was quite happy to be in Tucson.  I was laughing at my northern friends' Snowpocalypse facebook updates, while enjoying the 60 deg.-ish temps here.  I was laughing at the locals who were freaking out that it was only 36 when we left work yesterday.

I'm not laughing anymore.  Tucson was not designed for below freezing temperatures.  This morning all our pipes outside were frozen, so we had no water.  Around 6:00 this morning I became convinced that a pipe must have burst somewhere in the walls of our house and so Jake called a plumber.  Around 11 or so, I began to think that maybe I just needed to go take a heat gun to the pipes and that would fix our problem.  Well, about the same time, the plumber showed up and charged us a couple hundred dollars to thaw our pipes with a blow torch. :/  One of our pipes did crack, but it was an outside pipe that is used for the hose hookup.  The plumber did replace this, which made it worth him coming, I suppose.  I have now wrapped all our outside pipes in towels and duct tape in anticipation of the chilly 22 deg low tonight. *sigh*

Well, the plumber ended up getting our water running again around noon... which just so happened to be about the time the gas went out!  Apparently our gas company didn't have enough gas to cover all of its customers in such cold temperatures, and in running the lines so hard, the one that controls our subdivision broke and 14,000 people are without heat!  They say they might not have it back up and running until Tuesday!!!  I don't understand what should take that long.  They have to apparently come to everyone's house individually and turn off the gas, then fix the problem, and then individually turn the gas back on. *sigh*

So... I've been bathing with water boiled on the stove.  I'm wearing two pairs of socks and a hat in order to try to keep warm.  I've tried every little trick I can think of to keep the house warm.  I turned on all the lights in the house (I think I've read studies showing that that can increase the temperature in your house by a couple degrees) and I'm baking cookies just to have an excuse to have the oven on.  So far our house temp is still at 68 deg. (although I think it's probably a few deg. colder in the living room, which is where Jake, the doggies, and I are all hanging out).  Hopefully it doesn't get much colder over night.  I don't want our doggies to freeze!

So it was my friend's birthday earlier this week...

Ok... first things first...  Yes, the biopsy showed that my sore a few weeks ago was benign.  I am continuing to do well health-wise, aside from a little cold that I had for the past week.  Jake isn't doing quite that well.  His back pain seems to be resurfacing, although he's had a few appointments with the pain specialist, and it seems his pain has spread one facet joint above where it was before.  He'll probably be having another nerve cauterization procedure done soon.  Also, I decided to share my cold with him.  How nice of me!  Poor guy. :(

Anyway... I really don't have much to write about these days, but last weekend I made some pretty awesome cookies and I've been wanting to share pictures with everyone, so.... voila!

It was our good friend's birthday this past Monday.  I've been trying to start the tradition of making people their favorite type of cookie on their birthday.  Well, our friend had once mentioned his favorite type was sugar cookies, and since I also knew that he was quite into video games, I decided this was the only logical conclusion.

I am quite proud of the way the cookies turned out both looks and taste-wise, so I figured I'd share it with you all.  Enjoy!

What a relief

So, as suspected, my ENT took one look at my bump and said, "Let's do a biopsy." As he was getting things ready I asked if the blueish/grayish spot indicated anything. He said it could be an old stitch trying to work itself out.

Anyway, he did the biopsy and guess what came out? A knotted piece of stitch! From over 2 years ago! Crazy!

He's still going to send out the biopsy and call me with results, but we're pretty sure it's nothing.

You can't even imagine what relief I feel! I feel lighter & just elated. Also, I got to stop at Dunkin Donuts for breakfast, so I am just in fantastc spirits!

Maybe I spoke too soon...

I realize it's been quite a while since I last posted.  I'm very sorry about that.  For starters it just seems that I'm always so busy with something or another, even if it's just housework.  Secondly, since I started this blog as a way to communicate my health issues and I haven't had many of those, I just didn't have the motivation.

So... maybe one of these days I'll tell stories of this Christmas or New Years, but for now I'll just stick to the subject of health.

It would seem that I may have been a bit optimistic in my last post.  I've been going through quite a rough patch this past week or so, although I really hope it just turns out to be nothing.  Last Friday night, as I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, I noticed a bump on the side of my tongue.  I played it cool and abided by my 24 hour freak-out rule.  Well, 24 hours it was still there.... and tonight, 5 days after the fact, it is STILL there. :/

I haven't been sleeping well lately and my thoughts are constantly preoccupied about this stupid thing.  I feel like my coworkers have noticed something is up.  I don't think I'm being quite my bubbly self.  I also seem to be taking it out by freaking out on my husband.  Poor guy....  I haven't really told anyone about it.  I don't want to jinx myself or something.  Who knows.  Anyway... I already had an appointment with my ENT scheduled for tomorrow, so I just decided to wait this out for then.  My guess/hope is that we'll end up doing a biopsy tomorrow and then wait the week for the results.  It's this whole not knowing part that is just so horrible!  At least if I knew it were back I could start planning and preparing myself for this.  It's so nerve-racking not knowing.

The bump seems to have stayed the same size this entire week and I just had my PET scan less than a month ago and it was all clear and it just doesn't seem like cancer.... I can't explain it.  I don't have that same feeling I had the last two times I had cancer show up.  Even so, something about this is not settling.  Bumps in my mouth do not normally take over a day or two to make a significant reduction in size.  I guess I just have to wait and see what my ENT says tomorrow and then possibly wait for some biopsy results.  Hopefully blogging about this and knowing I see my doctor tomorrow will help me sleep a little bit easier tonight. :/

Good night!