Maybe I spoke too soon...

I realize it's been quite a while since I last posted.  I'm very sorry about that.  For starters it just seems that I'm always so busy with something or another, even if it's just housework.  Secondly, since I started this blog as a way to communicate my health issues and I haven't had many of those, I just didn't have the motivation.

So... maybe one of these days I'll tell stories of this Christmas or New Years, but for now I'll just stick to the subject of health.

It would seem that I may have been a bit optimistic in my last post.  I've been going through quite a rough patch this past week or so, although I really hope it just turns out to be nothing.  Last Friday night, as I was brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, I noticed a bump on the side of my tongue.  I played it cool and abided by my 24 hour freak-out rule.  Well, 24 hours it was still there.... and tonight, 5 days after the fact, it is STILL there. :/

I haven't been sleeping well lately and my thoughts are constantly preoccupied about this stupid thing.  I feel like my coworkers have noticed something is up.  I don't think I'm being quite my bubbly self.  I also seem to be taking it out by freaking out on my husband.  Poor guy....  I haven't really told anyone about it.  I don't want to jinx myself or something.  Who knows.  Anyway... I already had an appointment with my ENT scheduled for tomorrow, so I just decided to wait this out for then.  My guess/hope is that we'll end up doing a biopsy tomorrow and then wait the week for the results.  It's this whole not knowing part that is just so horrible!  At least if I knew it were back I could start planning and preparing myself for this.  It's so nerve-racking not knowing.

The bump seems to have stayed the same size this entire week and I just had my PET scan less than a month ago and it was all clear and it just doesn't seem like cancer.... I can't explain it.  I don't have that same feeling I had the last two times I had cancer show up.  Even so, something about this is not settling.  Bumps in my mouth do not normally take over a day or two to make a significant reduction in size.  I guess I just have to wait and see what my ENT says tomorrow and then possibly wait for some biopsy results.  Hopefully blogging about this and knowing I see my doctor tomorrow will help me sleep a little bit easier tonight. :/

Good night!