You just beat cancer, what are you going to do now?

I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD!

That's right folks.  Today Jake and I are leaving to Florida for a fun-filled time of relaxation and Disney characters.  This isn't completely out of the blue.  This trip has actually been in the works for almost a year.  Jake's family is having a reunion of sorts and it was scheduled for this weekend.  This weekend was blocked off on my calendar for so long...looming there at the end of treatment.   I kept wondering if I'd be well enough to make it.  We had plane tickets, but that was it.  Only a week ago did I finally call the doggie hotel, get a rental car, get tix to DisneyWorld (at a slight corporate discount - the company I work for just opened a ride there where you do math on a roller coaster, it's called 'the Sum of all Thrills' - how dorky! hehe).  Jake's mom got us a room as part of the block rooms for the reunion quite a while ago, so we were all set there as well.

I am really looking forward to a real vacation.  I'm still worried how a lot of my lingering side effects will play into all of this.  I woke up this morning, realizing my mucus, while still thick, was quite a bit thinner than before, to the point where I could swallow it.  It still hurts to swallow, but with cold water it's not too bad.  This will be a much better alternative than have a spit cup on the airplane.  I'm hoping this also means that I won't feel too bad leaving my suction machine at home.  A nurse had suggested getting a doctors note to take the machine to Florida with me.  It's only like 5-10 lbs.....but still, it just seemed like it would be a pain. 

The thing I'm most worried about is eating though.  I haven't eaten a thing but ensure and melted ice cream for the past week or two.  I plan to bring some ensure in my checked luggage, but that will only get me so far.  With walking around themeparks, I'm going to need more nutrition than my typical 1000 calories per day or so I've been consuming lately.  Even if I make sure to down two medium McDonalds shakes a day (~1500 calories), that's not really nutritious.  I am pleasantly surprised at how vast the improvements are from day to day.  My hope is that by a few days into the trip I'll be able to eat soft foods again.  I'm very sad by the fact that the reunion is having a special dinner and brunch that I won't be able to participate in.  I'm also sad by the fact that I won't get to eat my way around Epcot.  That is one of my favorite things about DisneyWorld, trying all the fabulous foods from around the world.  Maybe I'll just have to settle for a world review of ice cream. :\

I guess the last concern is my neck.  It is still pretty rough.  I was told to wear a "sombrero" by the RO (He thought that was just hilarious, too), but all kidding aside I should wear a large brim hat, to avoid sunlight on the scar, yet not irritating it with scarves.  I don't know, though.  I'd much rather wear a light scarf than a wide brim hat.  A scarf will stay on you while you flipped upside down in a roller coaster.  I'm not too sure about a hat.  I guess I'll bring both and see what happens.  Regardless, there will be lots of sunscreen.

Wow. This has been a long post.  I guess I am just very excited and anxious about the trip.  Regardless, I am looking forward to a very much deserved vacation. :) 

Back to work already

Well, I may have done it earlier than I should...but I went back to work today.  I really felt pretty great most of the day.  The main problem continues to be that my saliva is super thick and mucus-like.  I have a hard time swallowing and choke on the mucus.  So, I was forced to have a spit cup or Kleenex at my side all day.  I kept the spitting down to a minimum and the people around me who had to hear me spitting seemed to understand.  It'll be a while before things are back to normal so it seems a shame to stay at home for just the one side effect.  I don't know.  Maybe I'm just crazy and/or a workaholic.

The day went well.  People were really happy I was back.  The one program I work on was covered really well while I was out and so I barely had to do a thing with it today.  The other program had dozens and dozens of things left for me to take care of, so I was a bit disappointed there.  Some things were done by my back-up, but not a lot.

My day-to-day boss remembered that I had said when I come back I might be low on saliva and need water at my side 24/7, so she worked to get me a special water bottle that I could keep in the closed factory area.  One of my coworkers heard about the saliva thing and brought me these special super absorbent wipes that could be used instead of like 8 Kleenex.  Another coworker offered me her too small clothes since I am now swimming in my work clothes (I ended up netting a loss of 15 lbs).  I really feel like people were looking out for me and feel very loved.  I really missed my coworkers.

I also had my year review today with my section lead and found out that I was ranked in the topmost percentage of my coworkers.  I had one minor negative and a billion positive things said about me.  It looks likely that I'll be getting a promotion when those are announced in a month or two.  I'm very excited!

All-in-all, it was a very good day.  I hope my mucus issue gets even better so I can have an even better day tomorrow. :)

You can call me NED

It's good to be done with radiation treatment!  I almost cried during treatment I was so happy to be done.  The doctor says by the end of next week I will feel like a whole new person.  I am looking forward to it!

 

The radiation techs let me take home my mask.  Hera (our min-pin) is horribly scared of it.  Ares (our corgi) felt he had to sniff it out.

So does this mean I can finally consider myself in remission?  Have I been in remission since surgery?  Do I get to finally start my 5-year clock to being considered cancer-free.  Has it already been clicking?  I still might be in treatment, though.  We still don't know about the mop-up chemo.  Today I've adopted a new label, NED - No evidence of disease.  This is a legitimate way of classifying yourself in the cancer world and that's how I  will identify myself for now.  I may or may not be in remission.  I may or may not be in treatment.  I may have to deal with physical and mental issues the rest of my life because of this cancer.  That doesn't matter now.  The important thing is that right now there is no evidence of the disease and that's the best we can hope for.

Flowers Flowers February

Well, Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there!  Jake and I decided a week or two ago that we would postpone Valentine's Day this year.  What's the point of going out to a fancy restaurant if I'd just order poached eggs, ice cream, and water?  We also figured the flowers would be cheaper....  Well, Jake is too great of a husband and had already ordered my Valentine's Day flowers weeks ago.  So yesterday I was surprised with the most beautiful arrangement.  (For those of you at my wedding, note the similarities to our wedding bouquet.  What a great guy!)

The flowers are now flanked by the other sets of flowers received within the past week or so.  Some beautiful lilies from Allison:

And a spring arrangement from my in-laws:

Our house is smelling like a greenhouse!  I guess it's just more encouragement knowing that the end is in sight.  I've also been overwhelmed with many great cards lately.  Keep it up!  I love the little bits of encouragement.

That being said, Jake and I still are thinking of leaving town next weekend....so no new flowers for a while, guys.  Hehehe.  Thanks. :)

1 more to go and feeling pretty good

Well, my vision isn't so blurry anymore, so it's time for a decent post.  I woke up this morning feeling relatively well.  At this rate, I'll be back to work mid next-week!  (I promise I won't go back until I'm ready, though.)  I have one little treatment left on Monday and then I'm done (I hope....I still don't know for sure about that whole mop-up chemo bit).

I feel bad, though, because Jake is pretty under-the-weather.  I think as he's adjusting his meds it's causing all sorts of bad side effects.  Hopefully he gets those straightened up and can get a decent night of sleep.  I'm getting used to 2-4 hour segment style of sleeping....it's really not too bad.  In Jake's case it's 2-4 hours of sleep at all would seem like a blessing.

I'd say the worst thing going on now is my neck burn.  It's all blistered and cracked and gross.  It doesn't feel that bad though, just stiff.  I mean....I guess I still can't really eat, but that's sorta become the normal.  I'm used to waking up, forcing down an ensure, forcing down another one later in the day, etc.  I don't want to jinx it, but it doesn't seem to be burning as bad lately, so that's good.

I suppose that's all for today.  One more treatment to go and I'm feeling pretty optimistic.

Another delay in treatment

Today I sat in the treatment waiting room for over an hour waiting for the machine to be rebooted.  It never got up and working, and so I wasn't able to get treatment today.  It should be fixed for tomorrow, but this pushes me back until Monday to be done.  I am very frustrated and I just want to finish.  The vision is still blury or else I'd write more.  Good night.

Three, it's a magic number

Well... they gave me treatment today.  My RO told me to stop being so stoic and tell him if I'm in any pain and we would stop again.

I feel ok enough for now, so we will try to push through to the end.

My vision is blury due to the anti-nausea meds, so this is all I will post today and maybe for a few days.

Thanks everyone for the support. <3